LOVE

I am inspired by Abby Elizky Kuin's post today to reflect on my recent experiences of LOVE. 

The word is so used and misused, trivialized, commercialized in our world.  How do we sort out "God is love" from "I love pasta" or "I love my gun."  Part of the issue is that we use that one word instead of a variety of words more appropriate to things we are trying to express. I like Sheryl Paul's article, 96 Words for Love: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sheryl-paul/96-words-for-love_b_1644658.html  As she notes, Sanskrit has 96 words for love; ancient Persian has 80, Greek three, and English only one.

Limited as we are by the word, I have been amazed by the expanding experience of love in my community life during the past year.  It has been in the crucible of change within my church congregation community.  After several years of moving slowly in that direction, the public declaration was made that we are as a community fully inclusive, particularly of the LGBTQ community, including full membership and access to all leadership positions, sacraments, and marriage. 

Many members who could not embrace that left. New people came - people in that specific community and people who choose to be part of a group that is open and affirming.  A new community has been forming and growing ever since. It embodies LOVE.

NOT the "love the sinner, hate the sin" variety, but a true embracing of other human beings, created in the image of God and beloved of God. We hear each other's stories, suffer in each others' pain, and together heal the wounds that dogma and hatred based on interpretations of Scripture and tradition have inflicted. And what we learn is that we are all the same in so many ways.  We can celebrate that sameness AND our uniquenesses.  

I have been delighted to experience love flowing through me in ways that I had been oblivious to before. As I greet, hug, listen to and share, the response is precious and overwhelming. Is it really this easy?  It can be if we allow the love that has created us to flow through our limited beings. And it transforms. I have never felt so confident in my ability to give to others in my very being, nor so blessed by the love that comes to me.  

Peace in the Midst of it All

Today I am so grateful for PEACE. Peace in the middle of swirling thoughts of things to be done and people who will be impacted by my unexpected move away. I claim that peace as I figure out how to approach some of the transitions.

Two people will be hardest to tell.  One is Tommie, an 84-year-old friend with whom I have a particularly close relationship since the death of her husband 21 months ago. I spend several hours nearly every Saturday with her.  She is pretty active during the week; Saturdays have been her hardest day when she is excruciatingly lonely. So I began the pattern of being with her. She either makes us lunch or we go out, and then we play several games of Scrabble and talk. She regularly tells me how much it means to her, that I am her guardian angel, and more.  I dread telling her I am moving away.   

Then there is Tom, the man I work for.  He is 74 years old and still running his own business, a small promotional products company.  I have been his administrative assistant for the past 3 years, working 20-25 hours/week. He has Parkinson's Disease and in 2014 he
went through the months-long process that concluded with Deep Brain Stimulation Surgery. The improvement in his health and quality of life is incredible.  He says he doesn't want to retire; he doesn't know what he would do with himself (I've never understood that position with all the possibilities and opportunities at our fingertips).  

On the one hand, I have wanted to quit the job for a long time and this is my "out"!  I have a 30 minute commute each day, 5 days a week to work and it eats up so much of my time and energy that I would rather use building my own online business. On the other hand, it will be a challenge to find someone that he is comfortable with coming into his home-based office and taking this quirky job for a moderate income. Prior to my beginning when he was still in a regular office, he had 2-3 disastrous experiences with employees.

In both cases, I am feeling responsible for the other person's well-being.  Am I over-inflating my importance? How can I approach both situations with sensitivity and care without tying myself into more time than I want to and can afford to spend during the time between now and the time we leave? What can I do to help fill the space that I have been filling with each of them without taking on more than I need to?  

These are the questions for which I seek wisdom, guidance and direction. I open myself to hearing and acting in love.

Gifts and Choices

The room filled with the intoxicating aroma of hyacinths in a bouquet of daffodils and hyacinths gifted by a friend from church at Bible study last night.... a sweet experience of love and spring.

The gift symbolizes to me the precious relationships I've formed with people, over the past few years, many of them just in the past 18 months or less. Since we declared that we are a Progressive Christian Community and fully inclusive, we have become a new community. People who resonate with that have come, and those who don't, have left the church.It is a community unlike any I have experienced before: openness, acceptance, respect, love and a desire to share life together regardless of ethnicity, gender preference, marital status, religious background, or any other barriers. People are excited about learning, questioning, being in a safe place for it all. I am in love with this community.

And yet I am preparing to leave it and move from Nashville, TN to southern California.

My precious family is the only reason I would leave this.

It's bittersweet when a choice has to be made between two great loves.  It's not unusual, especially if one loves deeply.  I choose to go with my family at this time because I am very clear that these are precious, irreplaceable years with my daughter, son-in-law and grandchildren. I have lived with or near them since my first grandchild was 8 months old and can't imagine being across the country from them.  

Joyfully, the choice doesn't have to be all or nothing. Thanks to the electronic age in which we live, I can maintain relationships with my Nashville community. That has happened to a degree with friends I made in my previous brief time in California. With the strength of this community, it will happen even more as I move away. I will plan regular visits back here.  I will be intentional about maintaining connections.  This will work.

Change, Past and Future

Change and expansion has been a part of my adult life.  Most of it, however, did not involve geographical moves.  From 1966 when I was 20 years old until 2007 when I was 60, I lived in the inner city of Minneapolis, Minnesota. The changes included learning to live and love diversity of many kinds, becoming a parent, raising a beautiful, talented daughter, traveling as part of an inner city ministry coalition, switching career paths and more. 

I had never expected to leave Minneapolis. Then my daughter who had moved to California for her singing career, found her soulmate and got married.  3 years later my granddaughter was born and we decided that I would, indeed, move to California.  I sold my house, put my stripped-down belongings in storage, and embarked on a new adventure. It was a great experience of letting go, making new friendships and appreciating a totally different part of the country.

Two and a half years later, my son-in-law got a new job in Nashville where his parents had relocated, and we all moved there. 

It has been a fascinating time, living in the South, learning about yet another part of the country. I have a vibrant, loving church community that is unique in my life.  I am fully invested in it and have a leadership role.  I love the people and who we are as an inclusive community. I also moved into a house last June that I love and could live in for the rest of my life. 

Now, exactly 6 years after our move here, my son-in-law has a job back in southern California. Both my daughter and son-in-law love California and my daughter is not happy in Nashville.  The other grandparents have died since we moved here so that is no longer a factor. As the first friend I told about the impending move said, "It's a no-brainer."  I can't imagine not following them so that I can continue to share their lives.

So I begin another transition.  The timeline is not nailed down and except for that one friend, I have told no one. I look forward to exploring feelings and emotions during these days in writing as we prepare for the move.

Embarking on a Writing Project

I am so grateful for nudges.  Sometimes they just pop into my mind, sometimes they come from a personal experience, sometimes from my cyber network of mentors and inspirers.

I was intrigued with the idea of participating in Adela's 30 day writing project that began March 1, but had almost decided it was too late. Then today I received another email with an invitation to join - I guess it's not TOO late!  

So I begin.  It's a particularly good time for me because a brand new transition is facing me. On Feb. 28 my daughter and son-in-law shared the news that he has a job offer which he is likely to accept.  It means relocation from Nashville, our home for 6 years, to Southern California.  I lived there with them for 2-1/2 years just prior to the move to Nashville; my daughter lived there for over 10 years and my son-in-law for about 25 years.  I will move too - being in the same place as my only daughter and her family trumps just about everything else.  With 7 and 9 year old grandchildren, these are precious years that I want to share intimately. 

My intention for participating in the writing is to explore the feelings and challenges of this move and prepare for it mentally and emotionally.

It's such a timely opportunity!!

Diane Keaton's new memoir Then Again - Book Review - AARP

Here's a review of Diane Keaton's new memoir published this week. Looks really interesting! Check it out and share your thoughts!

Diane Keaton's new memoir Then Again - Book Review - AARP

Poll: Upbeat baby boomers say they’re not old yet

Check out the results of this recent poll of baby boomers:

http://style.lifegoesstrong.com/aging-poll

What are your thoughts on these topics?